The Wayne Stater

Cat building more popular than expected

Memeing with Nick

Nick Ulrich, Staff Writer

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Let’s face it: Technology is part of education. It started only a decade ago, everyone bringing their laptops and cell phones to every class in preparation of learning and now it’s nearly a staple for American education. Though this technology has proven to be very useful for students AND teachers, it also showed problems that can occur from the use of technology. Luckily, Wayne State College has added a new building to help with these problems: The CAT (Certified Applied Technology center.)

The CAT center is set up to provide a new set of computer labs, some engineering and construction classes, AND WSC has finally decided to add a robot sex brothel to the CAT center. That’s right! All college students will be allowed to go to the CAT center and receive sweet love from an emotionless, sexually-trained robot that can please you in a way that no human could.

Chii Z. Smyls, The Wayne spokesperson for the building had some great input on this part of construction: “We’ve had some great products rolling in all year, I mean we’ve got all different genders and races and religions of robots…” Dr. Smyls said “And we’ve got all the sizes you could possibly want… All of them.”

Well, I don’t know about you guys, but that sounds like a hell of a good time.

While the liberal administration wholeheartedly supports the idea of a robot sex brothel, some students have voiced their concerns: “I’m all for people getting laid or whatever, but I just think it should be done naturally,” said Rob Taylor, a student from Wayne, “And, I mean, how does it even work? Does it have… a thing? Eh, never mind, I don’t care. Hey could you not publish this part? I don’t want my momma to hear me talking about robot genitals.” Rob later said maybe he’d go down to “check it out” but that he was a “good Christian boy” who “only makes love to straight female humans.”

Other students came out in support of the robot sex brothel as a safe alternative to other more dangerous sex methods. “I’d rather have them making meaningless sex to a robot than to a woman who doesn’t want it,” said Mary, a 93-year-old feminist from Wayne who has been advocating for the sex brothel for years, “I mean have you ever tried one of those things. Some of those metal machines are more amazing than email!”

CAT’s new robot sex brothel is definitely a controversial choice for the remaining 2000 square feet of the CAT building.

Some argue that it will be good for the college, while others argue it will ruin the good Christian school.

Well, there may be some differing views about robotic sex brothels, but one thing’s for sure: Those robotic love-makers are bound to make Wayne State College one of the top recruiting schools in the country for horny young men looking for something to have sex with in college.

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