I needed a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. Sure, those may not be the opening lines of Apocalypse Now, but I find that it works here, readers. Indeed—a writer without a rudder, without direction...

I’ve got Iggy Pop’s “The Passenger” playing off in the background. I need all the help I can get to start this damned piece. Pouring myself a stiff drink has crossed my mind, but with it being...

I find myself feeling bleak on what could be a perfect day. The sun is shining, and the wind is lacking in the ugliness we saw from it last week. It should be an occasion to celebrate. Yet, I find myself...

Here we are, folks. Over the halfway mark. Midterms always marks an odd shift in the semester. For the first eight weeks, life is chaotic, but the motivation of the students and professors is strong. Yet,...

My mind has been lost in antiquity recently, readers. While I’ve always found an interest in history, these last few months the focus has been on the Roman Empire. Strange, I know, but we live in a world...

The deranged menace has shown his face once again, readers. That Greek bastard—my attorney—Stephen Adonis, has come out of hiding to do what he does best—ruin my life. Indeed. We are not safe, folks....

Does anyone else just hate snow? I can’t stand it. Let’s be honest, no one actually likes snow. You can say you like it, but the cons of snow greatly outweigh the pros. Yes sledding and snowball fights...

People are very polite, these days. Too damn polite, in the face of tolerance. Tolerance, I feel, is a very obsessed-over word these days. We talk about tolerance in all sorts of manner; religious tolerance,...

Icy winds are making it difficult to do much of anything, readers. Cabin fever thoughts are beginning to take hold, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep the madness at bay. Soon enough I’ll...

For a long while now, I’ve been writing satirical opinions for the Wayne newspaper. Despite my growing notion that this paper is only read by a bunch of old guys, I’m going to continue targeting young...