Should I feed my friends or buy a gun?

Memeing with Nick

Nick Ulrich, Opinion Editor

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Today, I received a crisp hundred dollar bill. I felt the coarse paper in my hand and put the bill up to my face to smell the sweet scent of spending freedom. But I had a decision to make. You see, I’ve got a couple friends, and they had really good jobs for awhile, where they were making the big bucks, and they would stop over at my house, bringing beers and other treats for us all to partake in.

But also, I’ve got this neighbor and I really don’t like what he’s been doing in his apartment. I hear him in there all the time, talking about how he and his friends like to eat meat, and you see, I’m a vegetarian, so this is insulting to me. How can they disrespect me in that way? When I tried to knock on his door to talk to him about it, he said he would try to keep the scent down but he’s not going to stop eating meat. I mean, he said that to my FACE, like a savage.

I’m getting off topic, but the point is I have all this money of my own, and there’s a couple things I’ve been really wanting to buy. For example, I could buy my friends a pizza tonight with the money I’ve got, partially as payback, but also because I care about them and know they would love to get a free meal. On the other hand, I could buy a gun to deal with my disagreeable neighbor. You know, just something to have around the house for uh… protection, or whatever.

Now, would any of my readers try to suggest I buy the gun? That I forsake my starving friends to buy a weapon for myself, something I’ll probably never need, except for whatever destruction I suddenly feel like doing? It seems to me the only logical option is that I spend the money helping feed my starving friends, right?

Yet, despite the obviousness of this answer, so many people in our great United States continue to support funding our already severely overfunded military while leaving American citizens, often veterans of the wars they appealed for, to live on the streets, without food.

So often people feel as though a slight increase in money to food stamps, meals on wheels, etc. will bankrupt our already indebted country. And they’re probably right, but why do we continue to put buckets of money into a military that only serves the rich and powerful and hurts those already disenfranchised?

The most confusing of these groups is the large Christian groups that somehow support wars fought by the U.S., outside U.S. territory. I’m not sure whether we can attribute this to military and Republican propaganda entirely, or if it has something to do with a subconscious need to relax the violent tendencies most people have.

In either case, I can’t help but wonder in regards to the life of Jesus. W-W-J-D, What would Jesus do? I don’t know the guy very well, but I have to assume he wouldn’t want anyone owning guns, and he would probably want everyone to be fed.