Get this beach away from me

Meming with Nick

Nick Ulrich, Columnist

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Maybe some of you lucky college students out there have, like me, been seriously wondering about the sand volleyball court on campus. These kinds of projects often come from our tuition, not to mention the many trees which were swiftly cut down to make way for such an atrocious, hot, dirty mess. When I first saw it, my first concern was for my walks to and from campus, which should now be regularly disturbed by non-athletes searching for some sort of physical satisfaction. But I realized that I haven’t even got it close to the worst. There are two dorms on either side full of upper-class students who will also have to deal with this nonsense anytime they’re home.

Perhaps I wouldn’t mind their silly little coastal retreat if it weren’t for the fact that there are already two sand volleyball pits on campus, by the nature trail, and yet another set of volleyball courts on site at the 4th Jug, where they have regular tournaments/play. So it’s not like there have been people complaining for more sand volleyball courts. Those courts are barely used, with the best return on investment to this date being its use in a WSC-sponsored short film.

I’ve tried to be a good student these past three years. I’ve kept my mouth shut: about the years of bureaucratic inefficiency and incompetence… about allowing a sexual voyeur to continue roaming the dorms, even when I felt that the sidewalks were getting just a bit out of control (long before the many turns and unnecessary connecting paths which only make way for the lack of activity that is accentuating America’s health epidemic). But honestly, this whole sand volleyball thing is just too much. I can’t do it anymore, I can’t let it control me. I need the grass and trees back.

If you agree that we need to get rid of the sand volleyball courts, please cut this article out, sign your name on it and give it to the dean or someone in the administration. It’s clear that these idiots in charge don’t read the school newspaper, or maybe they would make some more rational decisions.

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