Dear Don


Sarah Lentz, Opinion Editor

You’re a loud mouth. You lie, according to my friend Politifact, more than half of the time. You’re uncouth and a little racist. It’s time we break up.

We have to call it quits, Donald.

Don’t get me wrong, for a while you were exciting. In a way, it was mildly interesting to have someone in our lives who would say whatever was on his mind.

But then again, so do the old people who use the “I grew up in a different time” defense. You took my breath away from time to time—now that I think about it, it was never for good reasons though. What can we say, sometimes we just don’t fall for the right people.

It really just is time to say our goodbyes.

You see, we’ve matured. As the election gets closer, we realize we need to take our relationship with our chosen presidential candidates more seriously. We’re not sure anyone can take you seriously.

If flip-flopping were an Olympic sport, you’d have the gold. Remember when you were a Democrat? Now you’re like a walking human rights violation trying to gain entry to the most powerful office in the world.

You don’t respect any of our boundaries, like the Constitution.

We have rights, sir. We know you don’t like the press, mainly because they tend to see through you, but overriding Supreme Court precedent and weakening the First Amendment just isn’t going to happen no matter how often the media hurts your feelings.

We just can’t trust you. Being president is a big commitment, and it’s one we don’t think you can handle. You have to be diplomatic. The word vomit has to stop, and if you can’t even treat poor, sad Ted Cruz with respect, how are you going to handle foreign dignitaries—since, you know, you’ve been known to call people from outside America rapists or terrorists, etcetera.

Our time has passed Mr. Trump, but we’ll always have the ten months we lost our minds and thought you were a viable presidential candidate. In the cold light of day, we can see we were wrong, but don’t worry, it’s not us, it’s you.