The baseball boys of Anderson

Kaitlynn Breeden, Staff Writer

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I live in Anderson, which is considered by many as, “the athletic building.”

Unfortunately for me, that proves to be slightly true because half of the boy’s baseball team lives in Anderson. Specifically, many of them live on first floor. Unfortunately for me, again, I live in the basement. My dorm is directly under about three of their rooms, so I can hear them rage every day and night.

By raging I mean partying, but also just being actually insane.

They have exceeded by expectations of the term, “annoying college boys.” The baseball boys on first floor are always super loud 24/7.

Their favorite activities are screaming, raging, chanting and running around their dorm.

They have never gotten a noise complaint against them because no one does anything to stop them from raging and doing ketamine at three a.m.

I think my greatest memory so far is when I procrastinated doing all of my homework and had to print it all out at two a.m.

Unironically when I went upstairs to use the printer, two baseball boys were standing in the general vicinity of the printer.

They let me go first because they seriously said to me, “You can go, we don’t know how to use the printer.”

I’ve never been more amazed with anyone in my life. We’ve been on campus for eight months and these boys don’t know how to use the printer.

Which leads me to my question, do they not know how to use any of the printers on campus, or just the one in our building?

If it’s the first answer, then how have they been doing any of their homework?

Another issue is that one of the losers above us engages in vicious coitus with his significant other/ others every day.

I’m pretty sure he doesn’t go to class, because of how frequent the attacks are.

If you’ve never been on a porn set and would like to be, stand in my living room for ten minutes.

They also all wear slides without socks. A student who goes by “@ryleew_4,” has been extremely offended and disgusted with the poor dress code violations provided by the WSC baseball team.

“I saw one of them when I was walking out to my car,” @ryleew_4 said.

“I looked at their slides, and I physically wanted to gag.”

The baseball boys of Anderson Hall have continued to be an anomaly to me, and I’m sure that won’t ever change.

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