Some things are worth the change

Memeing with Nick

Nick Ulrich, Columnist

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I’d like to start off by apologizing for the lack of satire recently. There was a time when each article featured some sarcastic overtone but I find it hard to continually come up with unbelievable stories when American politics manages to sustain its own flow of comedies throughout the week. I’m not going to spend my time writing fiction when the reality is far more humorous.

I recently had a discussion in one of my online classes with a young woman who answered a question about what marriage is with the classic one man and one woman story because that’s what the bible says, specifically Adam and Eve. I’ve heard these arguments plenty of times before, during Catholic grade school and high school, from most of my teachers, whatever they were teaching. In high school, it was about procreation, but in grade school, I wasn’t allowed to know about procreation, so I’m guessing they just told us that it was all part of God’s plan.

But isn’t God’s plan supposed to change over time? For example, if I was planning on putting up a building on an oceanside property and I noticed that the tide was trending toward my property, I might change my plans, build it on a higher foundation or simply not build it. But when God wrote a book some 2000 years ago, we are supposed to believe that God thought the World would never change so much to allow any change in that book. Now I’m no deity, but I hardly doubt that God wouldn’t account for change over 2000 years.

I mean, there are parts in the Bible, even during Jesus’s time which talk about a person beating their slaves, and even some parables which discuss other things, but have slaves in the background. Are these appearances to mean that slavery is all part of God’s plan?

I sure hope not because that’s not a God I’d want to meet at the end of my life.

So why is it then, that people remain so vigilant about gay and lesbian marriages not being real marriage? One other big reason I’ve heard is that homosexual marriages have no intent of procreation. That statement is in many cases correct. But is that really a bad thing? I mean, one of the biggest problems in the World right now is that there are simply too many people alive.

Let’s all just imagine for one moment that the entire world is straight, every single person, all 7 billion. Let’s say that 95% of those people procreate at least once, and we’ll say the average is 1.5 children per person (or three per two people). Suddenly, the world is expanding far beyond our reach. Every 35 or so years (around the average time a person ends procreation), the world would grow by about 50%, meaning by 2055, the population would be closer to 11.5 billion. Keep in mind, I’m no statistician, so this is probably all wrong, but for the sake of the argument we’ll assume my math is close. But now let’s assume that about 25% of the population is gay or lesbian. Of those 25%, 20% are people looking to adopt instead of procreate. This would mean that the world is no longer continuing the extreme overpopulation, but beginning to resolve it.
So why does this seem so unlikely to Catholics? That perhaps the Homosexual agenda which they so adamantly opposed, was God’s plan all along? I don’t have an answer. I’m just a secularist trying to figure out the logic of religion. In either case, I’ll continue supporting the said that puts human rights over ancient beliefs.

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