How ironic is it that I would have the privilege to write a colum while it is National Coffee Day. Well, today is coffee day, but you will be reading this columm tomorrow, which, for you, is technically today, and I wrote it yesterday…trippy.

Anyway, I figured since my last coffee spiel, I should at least try this highly regarded pumpkin spice latte.

I drive down to one of Wayne’s local coffee shops with high ambitions to try the famous (or infamous) latte. Although excited, I’m very nervous. Pulling around the drive through I say to the barista, “One large pumpkin spice latte,” as she gives me a very bewildering look wondering what the I was doing ordering on of these.

So after paying five dollars for this pumpkin spice latte, I finally get to take my basicness to the next level and be a part of the people who like it.

I pull out of the parking lot and head to class. (Insert sipping coffee sound here followed by swallowing fast while it drips off of my lips because it is scorching hot.) I then proceed to flail my arms like a pterodactyl because it is liquid hot magma. I conclude this experiment by using only a little profanity as I spill on my cloth seat and jeans, making it look like the classing pee-my-pants bit.

Just before burning my taste buds, I was actually able to taste it. After debating whether or not I liked it, I found myself sitting in my car typing up a “for sale” ad for a free venti pumpkin spice latte on Facebook. I have yet to find any takers, but I am still hopeful.

But this makes me think about all the people who do not like coffee.

How can you not like coffee? I didn’t acquire my coffee taste buds until college, thanks to early 8 a.m. classes.

When growing up, my grandma and grandpa would drink it regularly and I just thought it was nasty.

I sure loved the smell of coffee beans though. Grandma always thought I was crazy when we would go down the coffee aisle in the grocery store and I would stop and inhale deeply. All the different types of coffees and the aromas filling my nostrils all at once were amazing. So when Sunday mornings came and we all sat down for breakfast before church, Grandma would ask me if I wanted a cup of joe, and I would say, “I’ll just take a good sniff.”

For now, I will go back to regular habits and indulge in my caramel macchiato (which I highly recommend) with my intake of social media news on my phone.

The pumpkin spice latte life just is not for me, but that’s okay. And yes, that’s right, I will stick to my norm and stray from the new, even if change is good. I commend you for your taste, but together, we caramel macchiato, pumpkin spice, and coffee-with-cream drinkers can still be basic.

I just won’t wear yoga pants.