One thing I’ve noticed in my years since coming to Wayne is that many of the men (especially white men) here tend to have views different from my own. For example, I’ve seen a disproportionate amount of white men who happen to be against abortion. I’ve never quite understood this until today, when I realized that every argument for abortion is directed at women. I mean, why is a man supposed to care about women’s body autonomy or the health effects of unwanted pregnancies? I’ve decided to compose some basic arguments, for even the manliest of men to read and hopefully see the value of abortion.

My first argument is a very simple one, which takes into account the effect pregnancy has on the husband. Premise1: Pregnant women get angry. P2: I don’t like when pregnant women like my S.O. get angry. Conclusion1: We should prevent pregnancy so we don’t have to deal with angry woman. P3: Abortion prevents pregnancy. C2: We should permit abortions so that we don’t have to deal with angry women.

Alright fair enough, maybe you’re an incel and you know you’re not going to be around any woman, much less pregnant women, so here’s another argument for you…

P1: All fertilized sperm is indicative of some sexual conquering by a Chad. P2: All Chads deserve the least amount of happiness. P3: Most fertilized sperm, if uninhibited, will turn into a child P4: A child is a constant reminder to a Chad of their sexual conquest. C1: We must prevent Chads from having children to diminish their happiness. P5: Abortion prevents Chads from having children. C2: Abortion is permissible, if only to prevent Chad’s happiness

Well if you’re pro-life and you’ve managed to make it this far, good on you, but we’re not done yet. Here’s one even Catholics will understand. P1: People who want abortions are not Catholic. P2: People who are not Catholic tend to have children who are not Catholic. C1: Less non-Catholic births mean less non-Catholic people. C2: Less non-Catholic people means a better world for Catholics. C3: Less non-Catholic people would make for a better world than a world that doesn’t permit abortions. C4: Abortions are permissible only so there will be less non-Catholic people in the world.

Alright just one more for people who are still opposed to abortion because they think women who have sex should have to deal with the consequences. I can’t even believe you people still exist but here you go… P1:When a woman has sex, there is a chance she will get pregnant. P2: When a woman gets pregnant, she has to decide whether to have a baby or not. P3: A decision to not have a baby after a pregnancy may lead to some harm toward a fetus. C1: A woman having sex creates a risk of being pregnant and having an abortion, which may cause harm to a fetus and person. C2: A decision to not have a baby should be made by a woman before sex. (I bet you all are LOVING this argument right now, but we’re not done yet.) P4: When a man has sex, he has absolutely no chance of getting pregnant, or really experiencing any sort of harm because of it. P5: A man having sex may cause harm to a woman and her possible fetus, but causes no harm himself, especially in cases of pregnancy. C3: Men should be responsible for preventing unwanted abortions, and every unwanted abortion can be traced back to a man. C4: Pregnancy is, naturally speaking, a woman’s responsibility (or refer to argument 1) C5: Abortion should be permitted, since an action that is at least the equal fault of a man should not be the sole responsibility of a woman to deal with.

This is a classic example of sexism against men. I am the first person to ever express these arguments for men. Everyone is so concerned about what happens to the woman during a pregnancy, we too often forget that the men who also have a tough decision to make: Will you speak your mind, even though your knowledge of the situation is limited and makes you incapable of understanding the full effects of abortion/pregnancy? Or will you sit down, shut up and support the person who has to make a real decision?