As many of you may be aware, Monday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Luckily, Trump, just this week, finally announced MLK day as a holiday. He is a real hero for the black community. In other news, our school has so hastily decided that the Christian holiday of Easter has so much more significance than MLK day, they would rather give us the Monday after Easter off than the literal holiday of MLK day. It is a holiday now, Trump said so.

Perhaps the establishment has simply forgotten so much of what makes them great: their casual racism and untethered mistake-making. I think the way to destroy these kinds of transgressions is to remind all of these old folks making the rules that Jesus isn’t as white as they might have thought. Ya know that picture you think of when you think of Jesus? Tan skin, blue eyes, and long, dark brown hair. Michelangelo’s picture, which is most people’s idea of Jesus is actually modeled after a man named Cesare Borgia, who was the son of a Pope some centuries ago. Jesus is often described in the bible as having dark skin (“like an oven”), nothing like the picture you all think of in your heads.

Is that enough to curb people’s excitement over Easter? Probably not. I mean, all of the popes are always white and a majority of bishops too. Even if that wasn’t enough, these people still refuse women the right to preach, which any racist person would love.

So people will still love Easter, but at least all those old white people who have rallied for students to receive a day off might suddenly not care as much about Easter and move onto something more… cultural. National NASCAR day or Chick Fil ‘A day might just be caucasian enough to be given a full day of celebration.

Maybe I’m just over-exaggerating and the people who make these holidays aren’t as racist as I believe, although I know for sure that these people are more racist than they believe. In either case, we must ask ourselves… Why does this secular, state-funded school mind when Easter is? Should that knowledge even be present in the kinds of backroom proceedings that determine these things?

But that is why they proceed into backrooms around the nation, racists and Christians alike, to orient state-run institutions in such a manner that they can continue pushing for white Jesus while disrespecting real black heroes. And every year, just as naturally as a bird lands on a wire, “Spring Break” lands on the day after Easter in secular institutions across the country, while MLK day is ignored and diminished.