We thought this epidemic was over in high school.

The symptoms include accelerated heartbeat, loss of focus, possible stuttering, and constant racing thoughts about a person of internet—otherwise known as a “crush.”

Crushes are curious things. Mind-boggling things. Sometimes they lead to something bigger and perhaps everlasting. Other times they can end in shame, awkwardness or worse, the “what-could-have-been-but-now-we’ll-never-know” zone.

At this moment, I’m stuck in the “In-between.” That’s when I have multiple friends coming to me to vent or ask for advice in the love department. So I’ve heard and seen it all. You’ve got your passing crushes, friendly crushes, admiration crushes, and the most serious: The romantic crushes.

Now, I’m no specialist or love doctor by any means, but I have some exceptional “creeping” skills…and I guess that puts me up there with eHarmony or Match.com.

So brace yourselves and step into my office.

The following “clients” are based on actual accounts. These are their stories.

“Client One” is in a great relationship, however, this person is physically attracted to someone as well. A “passing crush,” if you will, because it usually fades as time passes.

It’s human nature to be attracted to other people, but no matter how new or exciting this “other” person may be, one shouldn’t reconsider the relationship they’re in or drop everything to explore this “passing crush.”

“Client Two” has a major crush on their boss. This client has admitted that it is more of an “admiration crush,” because they are slightly awed by the presence of this person for the amazing things they have achieved.

Oftentimes, these crushes may be mistaken for romantic feelings because both are so intense. However, this type of crush usually dwindles after the initial awe of being around that person wears off.

“Client Three” and “Client Four” have severe cases of the “Romantic crush.”

“Client Three” has developed strong feelings for a co-worker.

Both parties get along remarkably well, have a ton in common, and could probably be soulmates…if it weren’t for the co-worker already having a significant other.

Goodness, this crushes me too. “Client Three” is left desiring their co-worker, but keeping their distance to avoid getting in between an ongoing, long-term relationship.

“Client Four” is fighting for someone, who they already know, is going to be quite the challenge to win over. Since crushes themselves are an inevitable, exciting, cringe-worthy mess, I’ll leave you with parting words from the love-struck Client Four.

“It’s like music. It’s like when you hear your favorite song. There will always be that part in the song that you memorize by heart and sticks out the most to you. That person sticks out from anyone else; that makes them exclusive.

Essentially, makes them irreplaceable.”

Well move over, Casanova.