Opinions. I almost always avoid sharing them.

 
I come from the tradition, as Bill Bullard has described it, that “opinion is the lowest form of human knowledge, it requires no accountability, no understanding.”

 
This is ironic because here I am writing an opinion column for this paper.

 
In fact, I have been given the opportunity to mass distribute my opinion to hundreds of young, temptable, burgeoning minds. The notion is terrifying, but I shall opine nonetheless.

 
However, before I divulge my opinions to you all, I find it necessary to first express my strong resentment of opinions.

 
To begin, opinions are like belly-buttons. Everyone’s got one, and they’re predominantly useless in our everyday lives. Like a belly-button gathers lint, an opinion gathers attention.

 
However, if I had to choose between the two, I’d pick the belly-button. The lint gleaned from our belly-buttons can, at least, save our lives if we ever had to start a fire out in the cold wilderness.

Gathering attention, on the other hand, is rarely advantageous in our survival and overall well-being. It’s more of a liability. Why do you think so many animals have acquired natural camouflage?

 
There are several potential outcomes related to sharing your opinion, few of which offer much reward when compared to the potential cost to the opiner.

 
For example, the opinion can: attract like-minded others, turn away dissimilar-minded others, be questioned, be attacked and be disregarded.
I will expand upon the two outcomes I see as having some potential upside. None of them, however, are without downsides.

 
First, attracting like-minded others.
This outcome has an upside because it gives us the satisfaction of finding social support, and it boosts our self-esteem when we receive affirmation from our peers.
However, there are some major downsides to attracting like-minded others.

To begin, it is the breeding ground for opinion ingroups. Ingroups are notorious for creating an illusion of invulnerability–that is, they rally behind an opinion that is allegedly infallible.
It’s actually pretty gross if you ever see it in person–just a homogenous group orgying around in their incestuous pool of thought and incessantly pedestalling their inflated claims.

 
Woof.

 
Next, attracting like-minded others encourages groupthink.
This is when groups make dysfunctional or irrational decisions due to the lack of critical perspective. In this sense, we must heed the cautionary tone of Mark Twain, “whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

 
Lastly, with the emergence of an ingroup comes the inevitable outgroup. Unfortunately, the differing opinions between these groups often leads to intergroup hate and resentment. Unless differences are accepted or resolved, this can escalate as far as intergroup violence and warfare.

 
Second, having your opinion be questioned. I dig it.
This outcome has upside because it appeals to the Socratic Method. A questioned opinion opens up space for dialogue. It sets the grounds for inquiry, encourages critical thought and illuminates more wholesome ideas.
Unfortunately, the downside is that many people feel threatened by questions. They take it as an attack upon their ego and intellect. Socrates, the OG opinion-hater himself, is a perfect example.
Socrates was an incredibly skilled question-asker; he would promptly see the flaws in people’s opinions and he was remarkably adept at asking the questions that would reveal the inadequacies of someone’s logic.

 
If given enough time, Socrates would make both rulers and laymen alike feel like fools for holding particular opinions.
Unfortunately for Socrates, this would ultimately lead to his demise. After infuriating enough people with his pesky questions, he was given two options: execution or drink his own poison.
He chose the latter.

 
My opinion this week is that opinions are whack, lame, bunk, etc. That said, I can’t wait to share with you all my non-divisive opinions about God, politics, the purpose of life, abortion and many more in my upcoming columns.

 
Stay tuned, Cats!

 
Until then, I will leave you with the remainder of Bill Bullard’s quote, “The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.”