I’m one of those jerks who is experiencing a great deal of discomfort regarding the “legalization of gay marriage,” and believe you should as well. Before I lay out my impressively persuasive argument, I would like to address an article in the March 4 issue written by Blake Hughes.

Hughes downplayed the importance of freedom of speech and freedom of religion while stating people need to be called out on their “bigoted cruelty for the sake of progressive social change” (paraphrased, admittedly, very poorly). If equality is truly what you’re after, THIS IS THE WRONG PATH. Call me crazy, well, actually don’t, that wouldn’t be very nice at all, but if someone believes that their god or gods, I’m talking about omnipresent, omnipotent being(s), have declared marriage is between a man and a woman, you will not have very much luck convincing them otherwise.

The best option available to protect religious beliefs and attain equality is the privatization of marriage. Get government out of marriage completely. We can replace the legal needs of marriage with private contracts between individuals and allow churches to marry whomever their religion sees fit. Let’s strike down the legality of heterosexual marriage, get the government out of the most intimate recesses of our interpersonal lives, and allow everyone to pursue happiness as they see fit.

So there you have it Wildcats/kittens (I also hold the extremely controversial opinion that you are a Wildkitten until you graduate). I just solved marriage equality while making everyone happy, even single people who won’t be subjugated to a higher tax rate for their lifestyle choice.

Love and Liberty,

Cale Giese