Midterm break is in two weeks, and I may or may not be freaking out a little. I’ve had the occasional symptom of Senioritis this whole year, but now that this semester is almost half over (only ten weeks left), it’s hitting me full force. I’m nervous and excited, and I don’t know how I feel about it “all being downhill from here,” but I’m going to share some thoughts I’ve had lately that maybe some other seniors will relate to.

1. If I was less motivated before to do homework, I’m even more so now. I have become the Queen of Procrastination. I wait until the night (or morning) before to finish assignments, unless they’re big papers, and I don’t even mind. I’m still getting them done, and doing what I hope is A+ work, but I just don’t have any motivation to do anything early. What’s the point of spending extra free time to get ahead, when I could be using the time to spend with friends? All my already-graduated friends who have “real jobs” tell me to live it up and take advantage of the time I have, so that’s what I intend to do.

2. I am getting quite tired of the questions, “What are you going to do after graduation? What are you going to do with your degree? Are you ready to graduate?” To be honest, the people asking these questions probably have a better idea of what I’m going to do than I do. My most recent answer to these questions is a shrug and a laugh to which I receive the all-knowing eyebrow raise, the gesture that seems to say, “You don’t have your life together.” Four years ago, I was still in high school, and I’m just as clueless about life now as I was then. I’m only (almost) twenty-two.

Sometimes I pretend I have an idea and tell people that I am either going to graduate school or I’m going to look for work. Work is a vague answer, and I’m interested in graduate school because I like learning (and secretly want to prolong the growing-up process). But why should I know what to do? Should I really be expected to have a lifetime career, a house and a husband waiting for me as soon as I throw off my graduation cap? Seems like lofty goals to me. I would rather not have that figured out now, because I’m not ready to. But snaps to those of you who do have their stuff together. Tell us, what are your secrets?

3. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the realization that I will have a “real job,” possibly soon. This semester, the earliest I have to be on campus is 9 a.m., and only on Tuesdays. The other days, I don’t have class until 11 and 12:30. So I’ve been sleeping in and staying up late, and this routine has snowballed into a terrible habit that I will have to break come summer. I dread the day that I will have to wake up at 6 a.m. or earlier for a Monday through Friday 8 to 5 job like the most of the working world. What is this life?

4. Even though it’s still early, I have been getting nostalgic, and unashamedly close to weepy about leaving my friends. Unfortunately, there’s no way we will all move to the same city, so the inevitable will have to happen. How can we be expected to say goodbye to another wave of friends? We just had to do this in high school. Maybe we were happier then, but thinking about leaving my friends and professors now is tough. Some of my friends I’ve had all four years, some I’ve just made, but it will be equally hard to say goodbye to all. I’m trying not to think about this, and I remind myself to use the three-ish months left to enjoy each other.

Of course I’m excited to graduate. I can’t wait to see where life and the wind take me, it’s just another step I have to take, and (enter more clichés here) but yes, graduating will be okay. Let’s promise to always say “hi” in grocery stores, let’s say, “I went to college with that guy!” when we see him on TV for good things or bad, and let’s remember our best memories we’ve made. Seriously, where did the time go?