Anyone who’s lived in the same town their whole life is an anomaly to me. I was an Army kid, and when people find that out, the typical reaction is something along the lines of “Wow, you must have lived in a lot of places!”
While I’m certainly grateful for my experiences, there are many parts of growing up as a military child that negatively affect my life, even to this day. I often like to joke that the U.S. Army is the source of all my childhood trauma. I can’t help but be a little jealous when I hear about people with a real hometown, childhood friends or even something as simple as proximity to extended family. My experiences made me who I am, and that definitely comes with both benefits and downsides.
According to the Bob Woodruff Foundation, an organization dedicated to providing necessary resources for members of the military and their families, military kids have poor mental health in general. 43% of parents who took a survey rated one or more of their children’s mental health as low or fair. Interestingly, most of the strain seemed to fall on the oldest child, with younger children having less difficulty fitting into the military lifestyle.
Military kids also have to deal with regular moves across the country, and even abroad. When I was growing up, I never lived in one place longer than a year. For me, someone who thrives on structure and stability, this wasn’t the ideal childhood. This isn’t unique to us, as there are many situations where a child would grow up in a turbulent environment. But I think anyone who grew up like that, no matter what the reason, would agree with me that it is not fun. I didn’t learn how to make long-term friends until I was well into my teenage years, because until then, every friendship I’d ever had was temporary. I always hesitate when people ask where I’m from, because there’s no clear answer.
An issue I have that’s uniquely military is dealing with my dad’s deployments. My dad has been deployed three times, two of them directly into combat in Iraq. Not only was I worried that he would come back completely different than I remembered, I had to deal with the possibility that he wouldn’t come back at all. Fortunately, I was lucky, and my dad is fine, but that amount of stress isn’t good for any 5-year-old. According to the U.S. Army website, deployments are one of the most stressful times for Army kids, and they often see an increase in destructive behavior and a dip in mental health leading up to and during deployments. Anxiety is the most common disorder in military kids, and with the uncertainty they have to deal with in their day-to-day lives, it’s easy to see why. With my generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis, I’m living proof of this. Funnily enough, that diagnosis came very shortly after my father returned from a deployment.
I might complain a lot about my upbringing, but that isn’t to say that there were no benefits. I’m pretty well-traveled compared to many of my peers, and I’ve seen a lot of beautiful places in my life. The Bob Woodruff Foundation also noted that military kids are generally resilient and adaptable, which are good skills to bring into any workplace or relationship.
As much as I don’t like to admit it, being a military kid helped make me who I am. I’ll always be a little jealous of people with a hometown, but I also need to recognize that my childhood shaped me, and it’s something I should be proud of. If I’d had the choice, I wouldn’t have been raised this way, but I didn’t, so I should make the most of it. Being a military kid might not be the ideal childhood, but it’s mine, and I like to think that I’ve made the best of it.
