This semester, for me personally, has been extremely difficult emotionally and physically. The week before spring break, my great-grandmother and my great aunt passed away two days apart from each other. Then, after both funerals, eight members of my family tested positive for COVID-19. My aunt was hospitalized because of her case of COVID-19 for a week before she was able to go home on oxygen.
My living situation in Wayne this year has also been a main cause of stress in my life. My landlord has had major beef with me and my roommate since the beginning of our lease. We failed to blast our heat to the max temperature while we were gone over Christmas break, so that they wouldn’t start a fire. Our landlord was extremely upset with us over this and threatened that we would not be renewing our lease here. Which is perfectly fine with me, because I’m anxious just being in his presence. Rylee, my roommate, and I found a great apartment that had everything we wanted here in town. However, after submitting our application, our landlord gave us a bad referral and said that we started a fire on our stove, and that we were overall negligent tenants. So, we were unable to continue the rental process with the new apartment, because he seemingly ruined that opportunity for us.
After this housing disaster, I also lost one of my best friends to her toxic boyfriend. Her personality has completely changed, and she has become someone unrecognizable to me. We are no longer friends, because I refused to support her current relationship. He puts her down emotionally every other day, and she is stuck in the cycle with him. I want her to be healthy and happy, and I hope that eventually happens for her.
On a physical issue of my life, I sprouted multiple canker sores in the back of my mouth and throat due to stress, which was insanely painful and unfortunate. Due to my canker sores and extreme teeth pain, I was on a soup and pudding diet for three weeks. I had my wisdom teeth surgery scheduled during spring break, but I had to take different medications to get rid of the canker sores to be able to go through with the surgery.
By some miracle, the sores went away, and I had my surgery last week. The surgery was fine, no complications during that. However, I am still in severe pain because the holes in my mouth have yet to fully close.
The left side of my mouth is in 10/10 pain every day, which takes away my motivation to do anything productive. I had a follow up appointment with my orthodontist, and I was told the pain will continue until the holes in my mouth fully close. Fun fact, I also still cannot taste or smell anything due to last years COVID-19 crisis I experienced. So I honestly can’t tell if my mouth is bleeding or not when it hurts, because I can’t taste it the metal flavor.
Coming back from break, my teeth are still in severe pain, my landlord still hates my guts, and I cannot find a two-bedroom apartment available in Wayne. I carry around oral gel now in my jacket pocket, which is absolutely necessary in order for me to have a crying episode free day.
My motivation has completely left with my emotional stability, and I’m still grieving the loss of my family members. Junior year has been extremely difficult for a handful of different reasons, and at the current moment it doesn’t seem like it will be improving anytime soon. Positivity is key, but in this pandemic, it has been painfully hard to find.
I don’t really have an advice for others who are also struggling right now, because of the mess I am in. No one really has any clue on when this pandemic will end, but I’m hoping 2021 isn’t a 2020 redo.