Life on the low road: part 2

Jacob Stewart, Columnist

The sun is shining and the beer is cold. What could be wrong with something as peaceful as this combination? Well, that’s what I’m here to tell you, readers. After all, what would this column be without an air of cynicism?

For those of you who have been paying any attention, I’m sure it is no surprise when I say the Democratic primaries have been pure ugliness. The debates have come off as arguments between stubborn children, all vying for a place at the grownups’ table. Of course, this is what is to be expected after the four years of brutal insanity we’ve encountered with our current administration. We’re living in the aftermath of some apocalyptic disaster, and now the survivors are cutting each other’s throats for control.

Sure, it’s a bit of an exaggeration, but with all of Trump’s disastrous policy decisions, the Coronavirus, and the drawn-out bloodshed in Syria, the world does seem to be inching toward some vicious, climactic moment. Yet we’re verging off topic now, aren’t we folks? That’s just the occupational hazard of a political columnist turned junkie, and for many of you out there, this is far from being new.

Anyway, let’s get back on track. The primaries have been nothing short of a cage match, and it’s coming down to the final push. With any luck, we’ll have learned from the mistake of 2016, but this is far from being guaranteed. Bernie supporters don’t like being questioned, Biden’s followers are holding out hope, and anyone backing a man like Bloomberg has clearly lost any trace of sanity.

And what about Warren? Well, I think she has put up a damn good fight, but with Bloomberg’s never-ending supply of wealth, and the sheer fanaticism behind Bernie Sanders, I just don’t know if she’ll get the nomination. It’ll come down between old white men. That’s American politics for you, folks.

While this is all being said before Super Tuesday comes to an end, I think it may come down to Biden running the show. Sure, the former vice president has had a bit of a rocky start, but his win in South Carolina was a surprising upset. Even in my viewing, I didn’t think the guy had much of a chance. Yet now, it seems he’s become the 21st century Hubert Humphrey, the candidate the DNC is willing to back because of experience, and with a man his age, you’ve got to hope that he has plenty of it. He appeals to the common democratic voter, avoiding the revolutionary talk of Bernie, while also speaking with a down to earth honesty that escapes the likes of Bloomberg.

If it does come down to Biden winning the nomination, he’s got one hell of a decision to make. Who will serve as his VP? If he plays his cards right, he’ll forge a strong ticket. Warren or Buttigieg would make strong choices, and personally, I would love to see Mayor Pete mop the floor with the homophobic buffoon that is Mike Pence. We just have to remember, whoever wins in this drive is the banner carrier of decency, of sanity, and regardless of who it is, at least they aren’t Donald Trump. Well, unless it’s Bloomberg….