I, like most everyone who has been a 14 to 17-year-old human, went through a phase wherein I thought my parents hated me (more specifically, that “I love you but I really strongly dislike you” kind of hate).

And to be fair, they probably did.

I was a bit of a challenge. However, in my handful and some years since being 17, I have come to realize that while I was busy disagreeing with my parents, they were busy teaching me things I wouldn’t realize I’d learned until a whole lot of maturity later.

1. “It’ll feel better when it quits hurtin’.” This is a direct quote from my father.

I have heard him say it more times than I can count (to me, my sisters, his football boys), and for most of my life every time I heard it I rolled my eyes.

But he’s right. Sometimes, in life, there is nothing you can do about things you dislike, things that bug you or things that hurt your feelings, except dust off and move on.

2. It is important to know where and what the fuse box is and how to turn on/off your water.

3. Don’t pretend to like things that you don’t actually like. This came more in the context of my mother’s cooking, but I think it can also be applied to life.

My sisters and I spent years pretending to like things that we were actually spitting into napkins (which is not to say that my mother isn’t a good cook, she primarily is, but she has her weaknesses).

We have since learned that the more we pretended to like the things we didn’t, the more she made them.

So at some point we gathered up the courage to tell her that we hated her sausage egg and cheese biscuits, and we haven’t had to choke them down since.
Life lesson: pretending to like things you dislike only means you’ll have to do (or eat) them.

4. Help before you’re asked.

5. If you love somebody, tell them you do. One of my favorite things about my father is how often he tells me he loves me.

I never (not once that I can remember) have hung up the phone without hearing him say “Okay, love you.”

6. Love does NOT mean never having to say you’re sorry. Love means saying sorry when you are and meaning it when you say it.

7. “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.”

8. “Aren’t you glad you have parents that love each other?” This has been said to me time and time again, primarily after finding them kissing in the kitchen.

My response was typically, “Sure but I don’t want to see it!” Now, however, the fact that my parents still love each other enough that every once in a while he tickles her out of a bad mood makes me more grateful than anything.

9. Families should have family dinners. It was (and is) a known rule at my house that you put your cell phone away before dinner. As a result we have pretty awesome conversations at the table.

Meals with my family are one of my very favorite things.

10. Stand up for your beliefs. My mother is one of the most stubborn, brilliant people that I know.

If there is anyone in the world who is both brave enough and smart enough to know what she believes in and to stand up for those beliefs, it’s her.

My parents have never backed down from what they truly believe in.

Sometimes people have disagreed with them, sometimes standing up for what they believe in has caused them trouble and made things difficult.

But if you aren’t willing to make sacrifices for what you believe in, it must not be that important.