Kori’s Food Reviews: Oreos Unite

Kori Siebert, Columnist

he Oreo will forever be America’s favorite cookie. They come in so many different colors, shapes, sizes and flavors. They’re good for dunking, twisting and chomping, what more could us Americans want?? More flavors, duh Kori. Well this week I went to the holy grail, Wal-Mart, and got four packages of Oreos that are out of the ordinary.

The only cookie I tried that is available year-round was the Red Velvet Oreo. It was made with real cocoa, was a red cookie, and had cream cheese flavored filling. This one was alright. I set my standards pretty high, but some of these cookies were giving me a bad vibe, so I cut this one a little slack. Some Oreo flavors just should not have been made. This one was seriously sweet though, I could only have two before taking a break; and that says a lot because I can eat ten Oreos in one sitting. It had as much filling as a regular Oreo, so thank gosh it didn’t have any more or I would have gone into sugar shock. I didn’t try this baby with milk, but it maybe could have diluted the sweetness, who knows. Someone test it out and tell me what you think.

For the Valentine’s Day lovers, this one is for you. Nabisco created a limited edition for Valentines Day. “Love, Oreo,” has a sweet and tangy crème filling and has heart imprinted on the top cookie as well as the saying “Dunk in love.” So as the romantic that I am, I obviously had to try this sweetie in time for love day. Sadly, these cookies reflected my romantic life: stale and unsavory. Just kidding Connor, you’re the real MVP.

But in all honesty these cookies were not good AT ALL. Sure, the crème was pink so it might be cute for a kid’s party, but they tasted like a mixture of barf and more barf, I don’t even know, I’m just not a fan. The only upside to this cookie is that it’s limited edition, so it will go away eventually . . . eventually.

Another limited-edition Oreo is peppermint bark flavored. On the outside it looks like a regular Oreo, just all sweet and innocent, but when you bite inside there are crunchy sugar crystals that destroy your teeth. Just kidding. I’m just so use to the filling being smooth, but the peppermint bits were just an unusual twist. This Oreo wasn’t bad, like it was average, but if you hate eating food that has a strong taste of tooth paste, you’re definitely not going to like this one.

Last but not least, “The Most Stuf” Oreo. Yeah, you read that right. You have your thins, regular, double stuf, mega stuf, and now there is the most stuf. It legit says on the package “MOST. CRÈME. EVER.” Sad thing is, is that it’s LIMITED EDITION.

I saw an ad on Facebook about it, but obviously thought it was fake until I saw it in the Oreo section with my own eyes. Let me first start off by saying, this is the MOST glorious cookie you will ever lay eyes on. It is perfect in all of its form, it has curves that none can compare to, its crème is perfectly smooth. And not gonna brag, but every twist test I did, none of the crème was left on the inside cookie!

There is so much crème, that when you bite into it, it gets a little too excited and crème spills out the sides. The only downfall to this cookie is that it’s so mammoth in size that I could only have three in a sitting before I was satisfied, and it’s only available for a limited time so that’s sad too.

In the end, I’m happy all Oreos were created just for my taste buds. Even though I love some and really dislike the others I’m glad there is more to be tasted. The blue tab will soon be lifted, the red solo cup will be filled to the brim with milk and a dunking party will take place on my lumpy futon. Oreos unite.