I’ve got a sleeping problem. To say it sucks is more than obvious because not getting enough sleep, especially as a college student, makes the feeling of death a little more tangible.

Yes, the lack of proper sleep is a problem, however, it’s a very… anomalous problem to have. Have you ever stayed up for so long that you just lose sense of what goes on around you? Like, you’re not even in the proper realm of reality, that you’re transposing realms and seeing different versions of yourself and your surroundings? Funny things happen when your level of lucidity changes. Different parts of your brain slap you with various degrees of thought.

Enjoyment; diving into a bowl of ice cream. Curiosity; wondering what’s beyond our solar system. Hilarity; remembering that really funny joke your friend told that one time. Regret, maybe; the time you had the opportunity to say something meaningful, but chose not to.

For me lately, indecisiveness; being an English major.

When I say indecisiveness, I don’t mean I’m playing with the idea of changing my major. I love being an English major. I wouldn’t want to do anything else, to be honest. I like writing, analyzing written work, the medium of writing and whatnot. But it’s not ME who is undecided about my major. I think it’s other people. I’m sure a few other English majors (and other liberal arts majors for that matter) have felt some sort of doubt from friends or family in their chosen college focus.

Doubt is the winding aluminum bat flying into the knees of the soul. It’s crippling, surprising and suppressing.

However, having your friends and family question your major isn’t a bad thing. I mean, a major is not just a career, it’s also a source of food, a way to buy gifts and a means of living. I’m concerned about my friends, their well-being and ability to take care of themselves. This means making sure they make good decisions, their career a big one of those decisions. For some, this is easy. For others, it’s sink or swim.

Here’s an English major analogy for you: the STEM majors and career fields are like consonants. They’re concrete, plentiful and important. They hit hard. They’re impactful. You know why curse words are so fun to say? Because it’s a series of consonants crashing into each other in a pretty satisfying way. Liberal Arts majors and career fields are like vowels. They’re there, but it’s hard to see it. Some are very common and are vital to changing and adapting parts of society, like the silent “e”. Others are hidden and a little more obscure, like the different forms of “y”, the slithery bastard. In the end, however, you need both consonants and vowels to make a proper word, and you need proper words to make proper sentences. Not all words and sentences define us, but rather it’s the connotations we give to words and sentences that give them definition, meaning.

Whether your word is “hands-on”, “service”, “creativity”, “inspirator” or even… “anomalous”, as long as you choose a path that you’re dedicated to, you love doing and you’re ready to work hard for, then I’m sure you’ll find value in whatever book you’re looking to get into.

Or maybe not? I don’t know; I’m just a sleep-deprived English major.