It seems like everyone around me is getting engaged, love is in the air you could say. I’m a sophomore in college and two of my former high school classmates are already engaged, crazy right? Not to mention it seems like everyone at Wayne State is ready to jump into marriage. Nothing wrong with that at all! I love love, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve thought about “When is my time?”

It seems like everyone in my family has gotten married at a young age, I’m talking 18 to 20 years old, and here I am turning 20 in 12 days. I’m taking the road less traveled in my family and it’s a little scary. I want so bad to get married, make fricken adorable babies, and start baking cupcakes to bring to school for young Timothy’s birthday.

I have two more years of college and the thought of uncertainty scares me. When will I find “the one,” will I be a stay at home mom and throw my degree out the door, where is life taking me? I’ve been dreading my 20th birthday more than anything and once my birthday hits I feel like all hell will break loose.

All these decisions will put even more pressure on me, earthly love sucks sometimes. There’s a point where I have to say, “Kori stop worrying, you need to give this to God,” but I keep returning and can’t seem to shake this uncertainty in my life.

I honestly feel like a 40-year-old women in a 19-year-old’s body. My mind runs through every possible situations that may come my way like finances, housing, cars, jobs, etc. I know a ton of college students who are waiting to get engaged and married until they’re out of college for a while, so they can become financially stable. As I can see where they are coming from but there’s a point where you have to ask yourself how financially stable do you have to be to love someone?

I give props to my former classmates who are already 20 and engaged to be married soon, they aren’t letting life situations slow down their way of living. I wish I could throw all my worries and nerves aside and just live and love fully yah feel me? Half of me wants to get married right now, start life and make a home with the one I love, but the other half of me says I need to wait till I’m out of college and more well rounded.

I can’t be the only young person who has baby fever and is ready to get married now but has life situations blocking in the way.

Hoping 20 won’t be so terrible that I can figure life out a little bit and not be so stressed. Love and marriage will always be there I just have to wait for my time to come.