The Wayne Stater

Oh words, where have you gone?

Vito Cole, Columnist

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Justin from the Stater staff sent me a message earlier this morning, Tuesday, that is. He said he was in desperate need of words. So, I began my hunt. Usually I don’t have to hunt words down, they come easy to me.

Today, however, I have looked in all my usual spots and have found nothing. Immediately after receiving the message from Justin, I checked under my pillow-maybe the word fairy made a surprise visit last night,-but, unfortunately, there was just the cool left on that side of the pillow.

Then I checked the top drawer of my dresser; sometimes I find things in that drawer that I don’t remember ever putting there. Empty. I tried to re-trace my steps, like Vanessa in that episode of the “Cosby Show” when she forgot where she put her history homework.

She eventually found it in the freezer, but there were no words in my freezer, either.

They are just words, I tell myself. String a bunch together with some arbitrary punctuation and sometimes, the words turn into some sort of enlightening story.

This can’t be that hard. I have done it many times before. Sometimes I don’t even think about it- I open my mouth and magic happens.

Why is it that today, I can’t seem to find the words? They are avoiding me, like President Trump avoiding common sense or decency.

So, I am so sorry, Justin from the Wayne Stater. The Stater survives on words and today I am leaving the poor Stater hungry. I think of all the out-of-print publications, like “The Sporting News,” which used to arrive at my doorstep every week. Full of words. It doesn’t show up anymore, ran out of words, I guess. I buy the Omaha World Herald every morning looking forward to seeing all the fabulous words working together to form informative opinions and newsworthy anecdotes.

I wake up every day and pray they have enough words to fill the pages, and yet, the pages are fewer and fewer every day. They are running out of words too. We are in a word drought. It’s beginning to look scary out there, people.

I guess, starting tomorrow, I should stop taking words for granted, as they are obviously getting hard to come by.

I will, each morning, put a word in a jar, and hide it underneath the bed, where each day a new word will join it in the jar and eventually I will have a full, articulate, complete sentence peppered with some punctuation and intent.

Until then, I am sorry, Justin from the Stater, but I couldn’t find any words for the Stater this week.

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Oh words, where have you gone?