This morning I was informed of all the specific requirements that I must follow in order to present my final 10-page critical analysis paper to the English Department. The paper in its entirety must be completed the Friday of dead week.

Also that week, my entire graduate school application is due. Obviously, being the procrastinator that I am, I haven’t started on either.

As my professor outlined the ins and outs of the presentation and stacked on rules and guidelines, all I could think was, “Can I just fast forward to Winter Break???” Or better yet, “Can I just time travel to 10 years from now???” Or actually, more accurately, “I feel like I’m going to throw up.” Welcome to senior year, everyone.

I hope someday I get to look back on these days of my life and appreciate the literal blood, sweat and tears I have put into my future.

I love looking towards my future. It seems like no matter how many things I manage to screw up, the future still looks bright.
However, I am afraid I am disregarding my “bad choices,” just because I know I might be able to make up for them at a later date.

I saw a poster the other day that simply said: “here & now.” I want to be here, where I am. Now.

Sometimes I am surprised at how fast my life moves, how quickly the seconds tick away, and soon it’s 9:25 and I have 5 minutes to run across campus to class.

I want to be present, every single day. I want to feel everything — good or bad — in the depths of my soul.

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t saying “I can’t wait until…” and often forgeting about what happens between the “big” moments. It’s like when you find a treasure between the couch cushions or something. Like the cushions support you, and they are essential, but there is something beautiful and sparkly and lovely between them too. The most beautiful parts of life — the messy, ugly, heart wrenching, soul-searching parts — happen when we’re not looking.

So, I hope I am present when those things happen. I hope I am aware and alert and appreciative and remember to use them as a stepping stone to where I someday will be.

I love thinking about my future and about the person I someday hope to be. But, I have a greater hope that I will never forget who I am today.

It’s OK to believe the future is bright—it really is, just look hard enough. But I want to be present. I want to be here, now.

I challenge you, students of WSC, to be where you are, now — No matter how difficult, outrageous, disappointing or just plain busy it may be. Be thankful, gracious, courageous, strong — now.

Take a break from technology. Take a trip. Visit your grandmother. Write a poem. Listen to a beautiful piece of music until it is ingrained in the creases of your brain. Present a 10-page critical analysis paper without complaining. Just do whatever it is that makes you feel present and grounded — and feel everything within the depths of your soul.