Dead In The Water: Living on the outside, speaking to the inside


Jacob Stewart, Columnist

Life has been pleasant here on the outside. Four months since my release, all thanks to good behavior, but believe it or not, I find myself missing those days on the inside. I can remember writing my first article, back in the fall of 2016, discussing the possibility that I’d become institutionalized and that I’d never be able to exist without being on that campus. Then again, I’m sure most of you have no idea who I am or what I’m talking about, and I will try to make that brief. I’m nothing more than an old con, a five-year inmate to the fine institution we know as Wayne State College; but now, I’m a free man, or as free as proper society will let me be.

Now that we’ve gotten the preliminaries out of the way, we can get to more important matters. If any of you out there remember my past work, I’m sure you will know that I often ramble on from literature
to politics, and more often than not, I tend to make little to no sense, at least not to anyone who is pure in their sanity. Today I think I will try to avoid all of that — at least I will do what I can — but seeing as how I’m working on a tight deadline, I might just have to use tried and true methods to make the cut on this one. Let’s see where this goes, and with any luck, we can have some fun with it.

To all the freshmen out there, the new arrivals, don’t take it too seriously, this life on the inside. I know that it all might seem like too much at this moment (and believe me, when midterms come around, you’ll know all about stress), but it’ll get simple, and soon enough you’ll find that college is about as good as you can get. Embrace the freedom, go to the poetry and fiction slams, have late-night movie sessions, go out on the town, but just don’t forget about the due dates. And don’t sleep through a test, the professors frown on that. Also, grab yourself a copy of Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises.” It’s the perfect book for a freshman college student, and take it from someone who was once in your shoes, we’re all lost in that first year (and some of us for much longer), and we all need a guide to help us along the way.

Something else I can tell you is to try to get away from technology every now and then. Step outside, breathe in the air, talk to someone face to face. Life has gotten too artificial in this age of social media breath down our necks, whispering in our ears like the devil on our shoulder. If you can make it one day or even just an hour without living online, you’re doing something right. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to prepare myself for tomorrow. The downfall of graduation – adulthood is your probation officer, and you can duck him forever.