Guest Column: Don’t pressure me on my own life
March 15, 2017
People need to learn to mind their own business.
I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for about three and a half years.
We met my freshman year—his junior year, and we fell in love over our passion for journalism.
He graduated two years ago and has been working at a newspaper since then, quite happy with where he is.
I am graduating in May, and will be getting a real job and I will be happy as well.
But why does everyone think that I need to be married to be happy?
For the past year, I have had friends get engaged, family and cousins get engaged, and all I hear from everyone is, “When will you be getting engaged?”
The answer I give them is, “I DON’T KNOW.” What I want to say is, “WHY DOES IT MATTER TO YOU?”
We are happy. Granted I would like to get engaged because I am ready, but maybe he isn’t. Maybe he wants to wait for a big monumental moment like when we get our first place. Or maybe he will buy me a puppy.
I know that a lot of you have heard me complain about him dragging his feet or me wanting him to get the ring but I only do it because so many people bring it up first, and worst of all, it’s my family that starts it.
I love my family, but I don’t want to do things “the way it’s always been.”
Let me explain. My great-grandma was married at 15 because she met the love of her life. My grandma was married at 21 because my grandpa went into the army. And my mom was married at 17, well, because of me.
I am not saying they did the wrong thing, because I admire them for what they did. I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for them.
But, please just let me live my life and make the decisions I want to make. Richard’s and my relationship is our decision and we have to agree on big decisions, like getting married, together.
Many of us want to make something of ourselves first. I want a career—that doesn’t mean I don’t want kids or to have a family, but I love news and want to work before I commit my life to another human being.
But with everyone pressuring me to get to the altar, I sometimes forget what I really want for my career.
If you want to get married after six months, two years or 10 years, that’s fine. Just make sure that it is a decision you want to make.
Everyone is different and feels they are ready at different times but as long as they are happy let them do their thing.
I am certainly going to do mine.