Such is Life: Size Shopping Stresses

Kristin Jindra, Columnist

Can someone please tell me why stores can’t come up with a size chart so I’m not a different clothing size at every freaking store?

I went shopping in Omaha with my mom and fiancé the weekend after Thanksgiving to take advantage of the amazing deals. As many of us from small town Nebraska know, when you go to Omaha, you try to shop at the stores we don’t have in towns like Norfolk or Columbus. Long story short, I bought this super cute sweater dress from Wet Seal and I changed into it when we got home for my fiancé’s Christmas work party, and let me tell you, it was TIGHT. No, I didn’t buy the wrong size (which I’ll gladly explain in a second), it’s just apparently Wet Seal’s clothes are made for more Barbie sized females.

Now to explain “wrong” sizes. Since I bring up Barbies, clothing stores should really stop expecting us to be just like these stupid, plastic dolls. Females CLEARLY come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, so stop expecting my shoulders to fit into your perfectly shaped, ‘what women’s shoulders should be’ tops. Sorry, but my shoulders are too broad for 80 percent of them. Same with my butt and my hips. I shouldn’t have to go up three sizes in a pair of jeans because I have wide hips and a large ass. Because, more than likely, I will then have to try to find a pair of “original” or “short” length pants because apparently the length of my legs doesn’t match the size of my hips. And Lord knows it’s a miracle if I find one of these “perfect” pairs of jeans because everybody else has the same problem I do and the store is out of stock in the pair I need. The struggle is real, ladies.

I’m not going to act like men don’t have this problem either—I’m sure they do. I know my fiancé suffers from sizes being outrageously ridiculous. If you look at him, you would probably guess his shirt size is XL, but I have to buy that poor man 2XL shirts because somehow in this insane society we decided to make shirts smaller but their sizes larger so people who aren’t overweight by any means, feel fat.

I suffer from this big time. I told my pant size to a couple of my friends once and they were shocked, because I don’t LOOK that big. And I’m not. Other than all the crappy food I eat, I’m pretty healthy for my height and age, according to the BMI Scale anyway.

But I still have to buy large shirts and size nine jeans because clothing stores want us to look more like their twigs they call models, which a large majority of us will probably never look like, unless we want to go anorexic and die.

And if we did that, who would buy their ridiculous clothes?

Models for clothes, or really any product, should look more like the ones that are categorized as “plus-sized.” I saw a picture of a beautiful girl who models for plus-sized clothing, but she didn’t look any bigger than me! BMI probably tells her she is completely healthy, but society tells her she is overweight. Now that, my friends, is f***ed up.

That, in a roundabout way, tells me that society thinks I’m fat. But let me tell you what I’ve learned, because I don’t care how many commercials, actresses, singers or spokespeople say this.