The term “Gag” has never represented the cafeteria so perfectly until this past Sunday.

Was the food really that terrible? Not necessarily, but this issue isn’t all about the food. It is about the service and customer-friendly atmosphere, or lack thereof.

In case you decided to take an extended spring break and are just now getting back, the cafeteria has made some changes to its serving hours. Hopefully this will get their attention.

I am a guy that is always willing to give change a chance. However, if the change results in the egregious act of failure that I saw, then I drive the bandwagon to shut it down.

Under the new cafeteria hours, the lower cafeteria will no longer be open on Sunday night, but will be open for a short time on Friday night.

The upper cafeteria won’t be open Friday night, but will be open Sunday night.

If these people are doing this based on the students and what WE want, then I want to talk to those people that took any sort of survey supporting these changes.

When I walked into the upper cafeteria last Sunday for the “Grab and Go” meal, my jaw hit the floor.

Not because of how great I thought this would be, but by how atrocious it looked.

In case you don’t know, there is a small, single-file line, where you have a choice between three six inch subs. But don’t worry, they’ll add extra toppings, you can even grab mayonnaise or mustard packets, WHOOOOO.

(In case you are wondering, the best part of the meal was the Pepsi and the mayonnaise shipped in from central Nebraska).

There is a slim selection of candy bars and chips that makes a vending machine look like you won the lottery.

They’ll quench your thirst with a bottle of soda or Gatorade, and that’s it. You hit the checkout line and pay almost six bucks for a small sandwich and soda.

I left there with my friends and asked them to check my pockets because I thought that I got robbed.

I could’ve gotten a better meal in the middle of the woods as a hunter-gatherer.

I know that they will say that it was a first-time deal and they will make changes to make it better, but my first trip through was so appalling that I don’t see myself doing it again.

It isn’t the first time I have associated blasphemy with Chartwells, however. You may have noticed you don’t have that delicious whipped cream topping anymore on that heat-relieving smoothie anymore.

Why? Is there a whipped cream shortage?

WE HAVE TO SAVE THE WHIPPED CREAM! THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING!

And I have always had a beef with the upper cafeteria about taking a piece of food out of there.

I mean come on, is it really THAT big of a deal? I paid for the damn meal anyway, is it really going to be the cause of World War III if I decide I want to pack an apple out of there?

Like I said before, I am not opposed to change, as long as the result isn’t horrific and ultimately makes things worse.

But as for the dining service here, there haven’t been many changes, at least since I’ve been here, that have been to my liking.

I am a simple man. But this is the last straw.

Give me the real “Gag” back.