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Guest Column: 28 reasons we need to stop writing listicles as if life is an article on Buzzfeed

Morgan Stough, Online Editor

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1. How is it possible that we as The Internet think every single person’s endless train of thought deserves its own article?

2. No, Stacy from Kappa Chi Pi of Kansas State University, I don’t care to hear about how rush week is harder work than any finals week you’ve ever had.

3. Same goes to you, Chad from Sig Ep. Everyone knows your bros changed your life, I don’t need a list about it.

4. What ever happened to writing essays? Will my future children learn to write listicles instead of essays?

5. Also, some of these lists make no sense.

6. Example: “18 ways girls with asthma love differently.”

7. I have asthma and let me tell you right now, aside from my dream to be in one of those relationships where the couple runs marathons together, my asthma has no impact on my love life.

8. Neither does the fact that I had some crappy friends in the sixth grade.

9. Everyone had terrible friends in the sixth grade.

10. Sixth graders are horrible to each other.

11. I digress.

12. If you’re going to post a list article on Facebook and caption it with “#6,39,50,108 SOOOOO RELATABLE,” please know it’s really a burden on me to switch between tabs just to see which Spongebob gifs you relate to the most.

13. Every time I’ve tagged someone in a post about “how you know your friends are your soulmates” no one ever responds to it. What the hell, guys.

14. See how, for the most part, I could take the numbers off of this list and it would still be a semi-coherent, albeit poor-quality, piece of writing?

15. So why are the numbers there?

16. It feels frivolous to me.

17. I’m fairly certain a piece of each one of my favorite English teachers dies when one of these lists is published.

18. Sorry, Rowse.

19. Sorry, Mrs. Smith.

20. Sorry, Stueve (even though you weren’t my English teacher I feel like a part of you probably dies too).

21. This list is only in the name of proving a point, I swear.

22. Most listicles are so insanely specific to the author that it defeats the point of even publishing it.

23. “20 Things I Learned From Cutting My Bangs After Having an Emotional Breakdown in My Sophomore Year of College.”

24. There are very few people who can relate to that sentiment.

25. Okay.

26. Here comes my final point.

27. Are you ready?

28. It is damn near impossible to have an actual conclusion to a listicle. They just end without warning. I hate it.

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The student news site of Wayne State College
Guest Column: 28 reasons we need to stop writing listicles as if life is an article on Buzzfeed